The Meep Trilogy
by nijijin
Summary: RLSS Light Slash A series of very silly drabbles.
1. Nose Job

Title: Nose Job - A Drabble

Author: Nijijin

Rating: M

Pairing: Light SS/RL

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me…but aren't they so much fun to borrow?

Prequel To: Paper Route

Feedback: Gently please.

Notes: How fast can Severus hex Remus?

Spoilers: Just a bit of silliness after the war.

Archive: Yes, but I'd be surprised that anyone wants to.

Every month the prat drones on and on…how annoying it is to brew the potion for me…how his precious time could be better spent…blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps the moon is pressing too close, because I'm really not in the mood this time.

"Am I boring you, Lupin?"

His expression morphs to glittering disdain. Oh that's it. Without a word, I get up and stalk right into his personal space. We stare a challenge at each other, neither backing down. I reach a hand up to his face and…

pinch his nose with a cheery "meep" before running.


	2. Paper Route

Title: Paper Route - A Double Drabble

Author: Nijijin

Rating: M

Pairing: Light SS/RL

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me…but aren't they so much fun to borrow?

Feedback: Gently please.

Sequel To: Nose Job

Spoilers: More silly fun after the war.

"Severus"

"Lupin"

He is unnerved when I take the seat next to him. Hmmmphf…good…let him stew in his own paranoia. His rosy blush, vivid eyes and appetite have returned. Now he is ready to rue the day he…he…"meeped" me! I was a Death Eater! The brats fear me! My peers loathe me! The gauntlet of challenge has been thrown down!

Very well, Lupin, I accept.

He begins to prepare his tea.

Merlin, the amount of sugar he stirs in!

He picks up his cup.

I inconspicuously examine the means of his comeuppance.

His pursed lips blow coolness across the steaming liquid.

Lost in the blissful haze of his cuppa, he takes no notice when I rise and curl my hand tightly around the instrument of his doom.

Finally, finally he brings the fine porcelain to his mouth and draws in a tentative sip.

Wait for it.

Satisfied, he drinks in a mouthful and with lightening reflexes I launch my counter offensive.

The rolled up 'Prophet' sounds a satisfying "thwack" as I swat Lupin soundly on the noggin before stalking away...purposefully.

Had you any idea that tea could arc so beautifully when spewed by a shocked werewolf? No, neither had I.


	3. High Noon

Title: High Noon – A Three And Three Quarter Drabble

Author: Nijijin

Rating: PG - 13

Pairing: Light SS/RL

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me…but aren't they so much fun to borrow?

Sequel: Nose Job and Paper Route

Feedback: Gently please.

Spoilers: Final bit of silliness after the war.

The long hall stretches between us. We face each other in dueling stance.

"You 'meeped' me."

"You swatted me with a rolled-up newspaper."

So, it has come to this, then, the point of no return.

I carefully take note of the werewolf. It will not do to underestimate him. The grip of his wand hand is light but confident. I am well aware of the vast amount of power he is capable of wielding.

"I see you have come prepared."

"One should always be well prepared for you, Severus."

It is difficult, but I manage to keep my expression neutral. The wolf will get no satisfaction from his attempt to un-nerve me.

"Where shall we do this, Lupin?"

"I think down by the lake will suffice. Is that acceptable to you?"

I simply nod my agreement and gesture for him to go ahead. He turns to move, but stops abruptly. Facing me again, he makes a grand spectacle of bowing and flourishing his arm.

"I think not, Severus. Age before beauty...after you."

Prat

"Has it escaped your unhinged mind that I am the same age as you?"

"True, but you must agree, that I am far prettier than you."

Ha, bloody, ha. Where is that damn newspaper? Smacking off that smarmy grin would be most satisfying.

"If we are to agree on anything, let us agree to walk out together…shall we?"

Shoulder to shoulder we step out into the high noon sun. I take a moment to adjust my own grip.

"That some kind of secret weapon you're carrying, Severus?"

"You shall see soon enough, Lupin."

We reach the lake and begin to search for a likely spot to finish this skirmish.

"Here?"

"Bring it on."

He raises his wand, as I lean away and put down my precious cargo. A whispered spell, a loud pop and liquid viciously bubbles forth unexpectedly.

"Oh! Quick, we need a goblet!"

"Had you waited to pop the cork until I opened the picnic basket, it would have been wholly unnecessary for me to watch the disgusting display of you drinking from the bottle, Remus."

"I didn't want to waste any! Ooooo, are those brownies? Yes! I'm yours Severus!"

I cannot help but smirk at my ultimate victory.


End file.
